


Unbubbled

by mage_cat



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Amethyst and Peridot are an established couple, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Gen, In roughly equal measures, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2018-09-13 21:19:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9142717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mage_cat/pseuds/mage_cat
Summary: When Bismuth showed Steven the Breaking Point, when she insisted it was the key to the Crystal Gems' victory, there was some important information she was missing. The time has come to explain and see where the path forward takes the team.After the War ended, many things became too painful to talk about, and those memories became secrets as those who came later never knew to ask the questions. But with Bismuth back, someone does know to ask, and the revelations are going to come hard and fast.Canon divergent from "Dewey Wins" onward.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to me attempting multi-chapter fic. As we kick off, just know that I'm starting at a point slightly further along the timeline than canon has reached so far because there are a couple of details that I think need to be in place before Bismuth comes back, but too much of it would feel like a retread of stories I've already written and posted. Missing backstory will be filled in as I go along, but I wanted to get a first chapter more before the new year. (I'm coming in under the wire in my time zone, even if I can't say the same for yours.) I hope you enjoy it. There's more to come soon.

In a bubble, there isn't much difference between an hour and a century, or a millennium for that matter. The last thing Bismuth remembered was Steven's face in the depths of her forge, fear and apology written in his expression. The next thing she saw was the inside of the beach house lit by the morning sun and Pearl wearing that bright smile that was twice as hard to resist joining in on as her tears. Garnet stood next to her with Steven slightly behind them, letting the people who hadn't been at the other end of the sword in her gut moments ago take the lead. All three looked the same as the last time she had seen them. Not much time could have passed.

Pearl spoke first, quickly placing a reassuring hand on Bismuth's arm. “Don't worry. It was only a few months this time. We just wanted to have some lose ends tied up before we had this conversation.” The brightness bled out of her smile. “There's some things we didn't tell you last time. We weren't keeping them secret. We just thought they could wait for your second day back among the living.”

Garnet cut in, “We also thought some of the details were best given by our newest recruit.” She angled her body to drew attention to the stairs that led up to the sleeping loft. Far up enough to be eye-level with Bismuth, a few steps higher than Amethyst, sat a figure the blacksmith found very familiar in spite of the fact that she hadn't seen one like it in centuries, even from her perspective: a triangular gemstone projecting warm green shades of light into a form small enough to comfortably spend hours stringing tubes and wires through crawlspaces Bismuth could barely fit her arm into.

“Hey, Peridot. I haven't seen one of you guys in a long time.”

The technician returned Bismuth's smile, one finger idly tracing the bright green star near the hem of her dark tunic. “I never actually worked with any Bismuths myself. My specially was Kindergartens rather than building construction.” She clasped her hands in her lap as her face returned to a neutral expression. “That expertise was actually why I was the first Gem Homeworld sent to Earth in five thousand years, and my original mission relates to the biggest logical problem of your Breaking Point.”

Trust a Peridot to not waste time with pleasantries. “Which was?”

“I was sent to check on the final progress of a geoweapon called the Cluster. By the time you created the Breaking Point, Homeworld forces were gathering up every gem shard they could and placing them under intense pressure in the planet's crust to bring about forced fusion. The millions of shards used in the Cluster would generate a form so large that it would rip Earth apart from the inside.” Bismuth's face fell, an expression that deepened as Peridot continued. “With the Breaking Point raising the number of shards left on the ground after each battle, the Cluster would simply have reached its required mass sooner, and the Diamonds would have unleashed their final attack earlier. You might have brought about a quicker end to the war, but likely not a different one.”

Steven touched Bismuth's leg, drawing her attention down to him. “Mom didn't know about all that, but I did when you showed me the Breaking Point. We couldn't destroy the Cluster, but I helped them bubble themselves, so Earth is safe.” Tears started to form in his eyes. “They were hurting so bad Bismuth. I… I couldn't do that to someone.”

Bismuth closed her eyes, blocking out the sight of those tears as she processed all this information for a moment. “What was that about the Diamonds' final attack?”

“That was the other important thing,” Pearl said as she tightened her grip on Bismuth's arm. “We weren't sure how to explain it so you would believe it, so I'm afraid we just have to show you.”

Garnet produced a bubbled Gem. Even with the rose tint obscuring the colors, the wavy banding was unmistakable. “Biggs?” Bismuth asked. “Why do you have Biggs in a bubble?”

“She's… not herself, Bismuth,” Pearl said. “Come outside.”

* * *

Once they were on the beach and had confirmed there were no humans around, Amethyst spoke up, “Who's gonna take care of her? When I did it before, it was pretty messy. I don't think Bismuth wants to see me do a repeat.”

“I'm quickest. You all know how to pitch in if I need help,” Pearl assured her. Help doing what?

Garnet popped the bubble and Bismuth saw her comrade’s shape start to form, but after a second, something went wrong. The light spread out to more than twice the size it should have. Bismuth staggered backwards as it settled into a huge, vaguely dog-like body with three horns where its eyes should have been. The orange-brown pattern across it was clearly Biggs', the pale, shaggy mane across its back was much like the one Bismuth was used to seeing on Biggs' head, but that was where all similarity ended. The creature sniffed the air for a moment before letting out a terrible roar. It turned its attention to the gathered group, but then, in a burst of light, it was gone. Where it had stood, there was Pearl, the point of her spear buried deep in the sand and a gemstone an arms length away. She quickly bubbled and teleported it away.

“That happened to everyone?”

“Different Gem types take different forms,” Garnet answered, “fish, insects, things we have tried to invent proper names for, but they can't communicate. They're obviously not thinking straight. Many of them can be violently territorial. Sometimes they threaten humans, who would hunt them down if we didn't get there first.”

Pearl walked back over, still clutching her spear. “And that's what we've been doing since the end of the war. Gathering them up. Keeping them safe. Rose tried to heal them, but she never made real headway.”

“I got close once,” Steven said, “but it didn't stick. My healing powers can only bring their bodies along so far. The corruption’s in their minds too.” His face brightened “But, hey! My last try was closer than Mom ever got, so I still have hope that I can fix it.”

* * *

Steven pulled her arm until she was back inside and on the couch. A few minutes later he presented her with a large mug of something he called cocoa. Bismuth had spent enough time among the Crystal Gems' human allies to know that food and drink weren't just for sustenance. She had seen them use it to celebrate and to mourn, to remember and to forget. This was obviously a drink for coping with shock, bittersweet and served at a temperature that she was pretty sure Steven had made hotter for her than he would have for someone of his father's species. Maybe he thought she wouldn't get the proper effect otherwise.

Pearl sat next to her, one hand on Bismuth's knee. “It's terrible to see her like that, I know, but they need us to keep going. Also, Peridot may have been the first Gem sent here by Homeworld for a long time, but she wasn't the last, and more will come. We can't fall apart.”

Bismuth placed her hand over Pearl's, covering it completely. “No worries. I thought all my friends except you and Garnet were shattered. At least whatever… that… is, there's a hope of coming back from it. The fact that my idea wouldn't have saved them actually helps a little. We can't change what happened, so let's try to make things better moving forward.”


	2. Chapter 2

After a while, Garnet declared that she and Pearl had to leave on a mission, the remaining Crystal Gems staying behind at the temple. Amethyst said she was going for a walk, Peridot quickly stated an insistence on joining her, and Steven and Bismuth were invited along. Steven quickly agreed and went to grab his ukulele while Bismuth stared at the congealing brown ring at the bottom of her mug until Amethyst waved a hand through her field of vision.

“Come on,” she cajoled. “We can fill you in more on how things work around here now, and you can pay us back with stories about what Garnet and Pearl were like before they started trying to be good examples.”

“I'm not sure this is a day for telling war stories.” Bismuth's smile was returning, if looking a little tired.

“So no fighting stories. I know it wasn't all battles all the time.”

“We'll see what I come up with while we're walking.”

Peridot spoke up as they walked down the stairs. “I may need to apologize for a part in why you weren't unbubbled sooner.”

“Why's that?”

“Garnet was waiting for me to reform, under the understanding that you were unlikely to trust what I had to say while I was still wearing my old Diamond emblems. She didn't actually tell me that until afterward, but even if she had, it is unlikely that I would have volunteered to have my form forcibly dismissed to hurry the process along.”

“Well, I can't really argue with Future Vision, and I've seen what it takes to get a Peridot to poof. I wouldn't want to put myself through that either. Why did you switch sides anyway? I always love hearing those stories.”

Reaching the foot of the stairs, Steven steered the group in the opposite direction from where Biggs had momentarily been that morning.

“The Crystal Gems' attempts to thwart my original mission, while not being sure what that mission was, succeeded in leaving me stranded on this planet with no means of escape or communication while knowing that the whole place was a time bomb about to go off. By the time of my capture, I was desperate enough to work with them. There were many things I was willing to do for Yellow Diamond back then, but dying was not one of them.” Bismuth's smile was looking less tired now, turning into an approving smirk as Peridot continued. She had seen plenty of Gems who did not draw the line at dying for their Diamond.

“Around the time we completed the drill to reach the Cluster, I managed to acquire a Direct Diamond Line. I thought that, if I presented Yellow Diamond with some theories I had developed about how to extract resources from this planet without harming the biosphere, she would spare Earth.” A pained look crossed her face. “She wouldn't. She said she wanted the planet gone, that she didn't care about resources or potential. She's _supposed_ to care. What's the _point_ of a Diamond that doesn't care about the well-being of the Empire or the Gems created to serve her?” Peridot shrugged. “So I called her a clod, cut the connection, and she remote detonated the communicator. I am most definitely not welcome back even if I wanted to go, which I don't.” She held her hand up to her face, almost as if inspecting it. “I'm done with being lied to.”

“You called Yellow Diamond a clod? To her face?” Bismuth barked out a laugh. “I wish I could have seen that!”

“It was pretty impressive,” Amethyst said as she nudged Peridot's shoulder with her own. “Even if she did curl up into a ball right after and stay that way for a few hours.”

“So what's your story Deep Cut?”

It was Amethyst's turn to shrug. “There's not much of one. I was the last Gem to come out of the Prime Kindergarten. Five hundred years after everyone else with the war already over. That's why, you know...” Amethyst pressed the flat of her hand against the top of her head, emphasizing her lack her height. “Which I gotta say beats my alternatives. Still, it was just me and a bunch of lifeless rocks for who knows how long until Rose found me. I guess you could say I've been a Crystal Gem as long as I've been anything.”

“Now _that_ is amazing. I always wondered what a Gem would be like who never heard all that upper crust nonsense about her proper place. You fight pretty good for someone who wasn't in the war. Who trained you? Ruby?”

Amethyst laughed. “Good one! Like Garnet was going to unfuse often enough for her to train me. I got some training from Rose. More from Pearl until we both got fed up with each other over it. Mostly I work from instinct. That's enough to get by when it comes to monsters at least. Now that we're looking at facing down soldiers again, sparing with this guy is really helping.” She jerked a thumb towards Steven, who added, “Pearl's done pretty much all my training, but fighting with Amethyst is fun!”

“But, ya know, as far as what a Gem's like without Homeworld influence, it mostly just means I ended up with different damage.”

Peridot linked one arm around Amethyst's, leaning into her. “Well I think you came out great. Especially for a first test case. The problems stem more from the neuroses of the Gems raising you then anything else.”

“Thanks, Per-bear, but you're biased.”

“I would not have formed my bias in the first place if I had not first logically concluded that you were an extraordinary individual.”

That got a small laugh. “You are such a nerd.”

“Yes, but that's what you love about me.”

“True,” Amethyst said as she leaned over to blow a raspberry into Peridot's cheek. After a moment of giggling they remembered that they had an audience, and Amethyst looked over saying, “Okay. Show's over.”

“Oh,” Steven said, “are we going to be seeing Andradite soon?”

Peridot and Amethyst glanced at each other before Peridot answered, “Not today.”

“Yeah,” Amethyst added, “there's filling Bismuth in, and then there's introducing her to walking information overload.”

“Once Andradite starts talking it's hard for her to stop,” Peridot explained to Bismuth.

“And she'll say whatever she's thinking, which could be, like, everything,” added Amethyst.

“She's like the Anti-Garnet!” Steven exclaimed. “Wait, that makes her sound evil.” He looked like he was trying to think of a better way to phrase it. Peridot broke his train of thought, saying it really was accurate enough.

“So, Peridot,” Bismuth said, “outside from fusion, have you been learning to fight, or are you sticking with a support role? There's always stuff to build, but what's the point of rebelling if you just keep doing the things you did before?”

“Mostly I've been working on getting my metal powers under proper control. With them I can occupy a ranged attack role that the team has been lacking up until this point.”

“Wait,” Bismuth stopped short to look at Peridot more carefully. “ _Getting_ them under control? How had you been working without having done that already? You can't be that new if they were sending you out on solo missions.”

Peridot scrambled up a nearby rock and sat on it. “It's an Era 2 thing. The story is that Homeworld is experiencing a resource shortage and Gems cannot be produced to the old standards, mostly characterized by lack of powers. For Peridots, this is counterbalanced with technology that is worn at all times. Arm Enhancers come equipped with tractor beams, which fill in for the missing metal control and then some, along with database access. I even configured mine to have a blaster function. I was a pretty fair shot.”

Amethyst chimed in, “Then there was the electrical feedback you shocked me with that time.”

“And a few other functions that led to the Enhancers being clunky enough that, to prevent them from dragging the ground, Leg Extenders were also required. After I was captured and they were…” she seemed to side-eye Amethyst, “discarded, it took me some time to even adjust to being this size. It didn't help that my mass was still distributed in anticipation of carrying the weight of the Enhancers. I overbalanced a lot. I really hope I'm going to fall on my face much less now.” At a gesture from the green Gem, a discarded soda can floated up to her shoulder height and began to move in lazy figure eights.

“Anyway,” she continued, “if what I had been told was completely true, I wouldn't be able to do this at all.” The can flew in a quick series of loops before coming to a still-floating halt. “I'm sure there really is some resource shortage, losing this colony _did_ hurt Homeworld, but, as to how much it actually affected my potential...” She shrugged, the can rising and falling an inch or so with the motion. “If I ever figure out shape-shifting or weapon summoning, I won't be as shocked as I was the first time I moved metal.”

Bismuth looked slightly stunned, “I think that might actually be more twisted than the whole Corruption thing. I mean, how long have they been keeping that up?”

“Longer than I've been around. Which means more than 3000 years. And don't forget I was a Kindergartener. Lying to me means that they are mucking with the technical manuals regarding Gem formation. The more you think about it, the worse it gets.”

Bismuth looked down to where Steven and Amethyst were standing. “Remind me why shattering the Diamonds is a bad idea again.”

“Because desperate Diamonds are more dangerous than we can handle,” Amethyst answered.

“And it would be wrong,” added Steven.

The smith gave a half-nod of assent before turning back to Peridot. “Anyway, if you're sticking to that training regimen, could I make you some better ammunition? What have you been using?”

“I would actually appreciate that. This planet has plenty of scrap metal I can use, but I know there would be benefits to something more uniform. My skill with raw materials lags well behind my engineering abilities.”

Amethyst climbed up the rock to sit next to her. “I'm glad to have you watching my back, and to know that if we need an attack with more range that my whip and more punch than Pearl's laser blasts, we don't have to rely on Opal.” She rolled her eyes toward Bismuth. “Miss Pearl-fect and I don't always get along well enough to fuse, even if an archer would help.”

“I guess with so few of us, fusion is a more important tactic than ever, huh?”

“I guess. I don't really know how important it was during the war so I can't compare. You ever fuse with Pearl or Garnet?”

“I... uh,” Bismuth's mind stumbled over the memory. “Yeah, a couple of times. With Pearl. Never quite worked out with Garnet.”

Steven had pulled up a seat on one of the smaller rocks and begun tuning his ukulele. Bismuth took the hint and settled in, using Peridot and Amethyst's perch as a backrest. They passed a few hours that way, swapping stories. Peridot related the epic tale of scavenging materials for some attack drones she had made. Bismuth talked about how hard Pearl had been on her swords before Bismuth had perfected the design for them. Amethyst described her involvement in the local wrestling league, and the fight she and Steven had had with Garnet and Pearl over allowing her to continue. Bismuth learned a round that Steven had written and Amethyst and Peridot already knew. In the end, the three younger Crystal Gems did more of the talking than Bismuth did. She was more than willing to tell stories about Garnet and Pearl, but too many stories included the shattered and the corrupted. On another day, she might be able to tell those, but the pain was still too fresh.

The sun was just starting to tint the western sky a faint orange when Peridot said she would have to leave soon. “I told Lapis I would be back before dark. She's more stable than she used to be, but I still don't like leaving her alone for too long.”

“Lapis Lazuli?” The name conjured up some less pleasant memories, but mostly Bismuth wondered why they hadn't mentioned another Gem around. After all, what were the odds that they were talking about the same Lapis she was thinking of?

“A Homeworld loyalist who was mistaken for a Crystal Gem during the war and put in a mirror for interrogation. She was abandoned and cracked while still in it during the final evacuation,” Peridot explained as she descended from the rock and headed towards the Temple and its warp pad. The rest of the group went with her.

“I got her out and healed her,” Steven chimed in.

“Yeah, but between one and the other, she stole the ocean for a while,” Amethyst said, “because being so cracked your mind is too scrambled to be corrupted means you're willing to try out some really bad ideas.”

“She went back to Homeworld after,” Steven continued, “and sent us a message that Peridot was coming back with reinforcements after her scouting missions where we first saw her. If it wasn't for Lapis, we wouldn't have been ready at all.”

“'Reinforcements' makes it sound much more dire than one ship with me, Jasper as an escort, and Lapis as an unwilling informant. Anyway, that day ended with me on the run and Lapis holding Jasper captive in a fusion. It's rather amazing how long it was before Malachite split, longer than I managed to stay one step ahead of the team. That's when things got complicated. Jasper's bubbled now. I'm working on getting Lapis to convert. She's warmed up to me and would do just about anything for Steven, but she's civil at best to Pearl and Garnet.”

Amethyst said, “And she doesn't seem to mind me hanging around the Barn. Of course, it probably helps that I usually bring books and interesting junk for her and Peri to use for art projects.”

“You've been doing art?” Bismuth asked Peridot, honestly curious.

“Apparently the exact human term for it is 'conceptual sculpture.' I still like the word Lapis came on for it, 'meep-morp.' Anyway, once the drill project had fulfilled its purpose, I found making things without concern for utility very freeing. Also, I find that creative endeavors aid in emotional processing, and everything I've found out since coming to Earth has given me a lot to process. Oh, do you want these,” she said referring to the now four cans she had floating beside her. “They're aluminum, very pure aside from the added pigment.”

“Humans figured out aluminum extraction? I'm impressed. That's tricky work on this planet.” Bismuth considered the offer. “You keep them for now. I'm going to do an inventory at the Forge.”

Once Peridot had used the warp pad to reach a point nearer her destination, Bismuth moved to do the same. Amethyst asked, “Are you really gonna leave right now?”

“Yeah, Pearl and Garnet aren't even back yet,” said Steven.

“Unless you need me for something. I've got an inventory to do and things to think about.” She stepped onto the pad. “You all know where to find me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. One of the problems of letting my ideas for this fic cook for months before I really started writing it is that my brain keeps skipping ahead to later points of the story. To make it up to y'all, I have Chapter Three, which I was much more excited about, already written and will be posting it right away. After this, I hope to keep up a weekly schedule.


	3. Chapter 3

Pearl stepped into the Forge, the notes of one of Steven's compositions reaching her ears before the words became clear. “… and birth and peace and war on the planet Earth...” Bismuth's back was to her, hunched over her workbench, likely doing sharpening or inscription work. A bag by the door was already filled with throwing knives, shuriken, chakram, and objects that reminded Pearl strongly of musket balls. She picked up one of the star-shaped shuriken. “Well, this _is_ how you've always ultimately gotten to know new recruits. By their weapon preferences.”

The sudden addition of a new voice gave the smith a start before she turned towards Pearl and smiled. “Weapon preferences tell me a lot about a person. For example, Peridot wants to stay at a distance. That tells me she wants the chance to plan her attacks as much as she can. I don't think she's afraid of a fight, but she wants as much information and preparation for it as she can get. When I find out how she uses what's in that bag, I'll be able to say more.”

“Personally, I find Peridot rather insufferable at times, but I'm glad you seem to be getting along.”

“She does have quite an ego on her,” Bismuth admitted. “Between that and knowing she was getting solo missions, I peg her for a Crew Chief, probably getting evaled for a Site Manager job. Let me guess,” her smile grew wider, “she tries to give you orders?”

“Not after the incident when she called me someone's shiny toy and I punched her in the face,” Pearl said smugly.

Bismuth doubled over, her whole body shaking with laughter. “I keep finding out about great stuff that I missed. You literally knocking sense into newbies is always classic.” She was still chuckling as she straightened up, throwing a glance over her shoulder to the project behind her.

“So what are you working on now?” Pearl asked.

“I... um... I thought I would try something Peridot said about creative endeavors aiding in emotional processing.”

“That's probably wise. I know the Corruption is a lot to take in.”

“That's not what I'm processing here.”

“Then what?”

“I'm not really sure I can tell you.” There was uncharacteristic hesitation in Bismuth's voice.

“Oh come now.” Pearl started closing the distance between them. “I know all too well how bad the effects of keeping things bottled up can be.” She poked a finger at Bismuth's chest. “I've been missing you for a long time, and I'm not going to have you back just so you can slip into a funk.”

Bismuth seemed to develop an intense interest in the ceiling. “You know, I just keep thinking about when Steven pulled me out of Lion's mane, the way you jumped into my arms. I had fantasies about you doing that for centuries.”

Whatever Pearl had been expecting her to say, it hadn't been that. She developed an equally intense interest in the shuriken she was still holding.

“Why wouldn't someone fall for you?” Bismuth continued. “A Pearl fierce enough face Quartz soldiers and win? And you were so eager to _learn_ , coming here to the Forge and asking about the things I was working on. I had never seen someone so riveted by the properties of tungsten.” She looked at Pearl. “Please don't tell me you really believe that it was Rose that made you incredible. That's just too sad to think about.”

She was still fiddling with the shuriken. “If it wasn't for her I never would have...”

“Hey, Rose unlocked something special in all of us, but there's a funny thing about keys. You don't need them to _keep_ a lock open.”

Pearl looked up, her head still bowed. “Why didn't you say anything back then?”

“I tried, now and then, but I'm pretty sure blind people could see the way you looked at Rose. That was a level of devotion that wasn't going to let a third person in. Be honest. Did I stand a chance back then?”

“I... I don't know. I never considered the possibility.” She closed her eyes. “Oh, but I'm sure I would have felt so disloyal.”

“And it's not like I would have felt much better, getting between the two original Crystal Gems.”

“So, what _is_ your creative endeavor here?” Pearl stood straight as she walked around Bismuth to get a proper view of the project.

“Well, it started out as a replica of your spear. I really don't know what it is now. I'm doing it in bronze, mostly 'cause it's easy to work, but I'm kind of proud that I got the alloy to match the color of your hair, which I really hope is not creepy. Steel would have fit to, maybe even better, but I just didn't feel like getting the fires hot enough for it.”

"Well if the point of this project was to get yourself _less_ hot and bothered, that makes sense."

“And now you're making fun of me.”

“I'm processing.” She put the shuriken down and picked up the spear. Being entirely metal made it a bit too heavy to be practical, but Bismuth had, after all, been making an art object, not a battle weapon. She must have started with some particularly ruddy copper for the tin to lighten the alloy to its peach-pink color. The curves and proportions were exaggerated, calling attention to just how sharp and deadly the weapon was. Bronze blunted fairly easily, but for now everything had a fine edge. Pearl squinted at the delicate tracery Bismuth had been engraving on it when she walked in, leafy briars with rose hips but without a flower in sight. She carefully placed it back on the workbench, but she didn't take her eyes from it.

“I think I would have sided with you over the Breaking Point, you know. Back then during the heat of the war. A lot of us would have.”

“I guess that's why Rose didn't tell anyone.” Pearl was a little surprised Bismuth didn't sound more bitter than she did.

“Rose always said that it was important for a leader to have secrets, but it's only in the last few years that I've found out how many secrets she kept from _me._ ” Pearl gripped the edge of the workbench. _“_ Now I keep thinking of all those thousands of years fighting monsters that used to be friends, and I think about how you could have _been_ there. You could have _helped_ , and having even one more Gem around would have been a comfort.” Her shoulders slumped. “You would have been there for the peaceful times, too. There really were some great times in between the fighting.”

“Listening to the others talk about you, it barely sounds like they're describing the same person I know, and why does Amethyst act like the idea of Ruby training her is the funniest thing she's heard all week?”

Ruby would have been a better fit then she had been, Pearl thought, but there had never been a chance of that. “We thought we were so close to winning, Homeworld forces were retreating, and then we lost so much so fast. I know seeing Biggs was a shock, but imagine seeing that a hundred times over on the first day with no warning. And again the day after, on and on. After a while we stopped even trying to call them by their real names. It hurt too much. We clung to the comforts we had. Rose clung to her ideas about humans. I clung to Rose as much as I could. Ruby and Sapphire clung to each other. I know you're used to seeing Garnet around for weeks at a time, but I've sometimes gone years without seeing Sapphire or Ruby.” Pearl finally looked at Bismuth again. “They're getting better though. I've seen them twice in the past year.”

“And what exactly were you doing while Rose was off being fascinated by humans?”

She shrugged. “Trying to be better. Training, studying, keeping busy.”

“And I'm guessing that while you were hurting, o selfless knight, you never actually said anything to Rose, while she continued her streak of being completely unable to recognize anyone's negative emotions if they were not actually crying or yelling.” Pearl stared at her. Bismuth continued, “Rose had a lot of great qualities. Empathy was never one of them.”

“I keep forgetting that Steven actually gets that from Greg.”

“She left a lot on the little guy's shoulders. I hope he gets to do more with his life than clean up her mess.”

Pearl rested her hand on Bismuth's arm. She may have never jumped into those arms before the day Bismuth had effectively returned from the dead, but that didn't mean she had never been in them at all. There had been many comforting hugs and the occasional need for Pearl to be carried off a battlefield or boosted over a wall. One thing Pearl remembered being glad of was how Bismuth never held her like she was afraid that Pearl was about to break. For all Rose had respected her, there had never stopped being times that she treated her like she was fragile.

Maybe Rose couldn't help it. Her instinct had always been to shield those she cared for as much as she could, both from physical harm and from painful truth. Bismuth cared every bit as much as Rose had, but she wasn't a shield. Her instinct was always to build and to make, and she would give everything to insure that those she cared for had the tools to protect themselves. If they doubted their ability to use those tools, well, Pearl had walked in on the middle of many long talks with new recruits, sometimes doubling as weapon design sessions, sometimes not, and had seen endless sparing matches. She had seen Bismuth build confidence in countless Crystal Gems. Pearl had missed that when Bismuth was gone. She had loved that about her.

“Look," Bismuth said, "if you need time to think or if you're just trying to think of a nice way to say no, just say so and I promise I won't...”

Pearl cut her off by pulling Bismuth down by her apron front and stopping her mouth with a kiss. After a second of surprise, Bismuth returned it and picked Pearl up in the same firm grip the pale Gem had just been remembering so fondly. After a beautifully long moment, Pearl pulled away to look Bismuth in the eye. “I have been far too careful for far too long. I've missed you, and I miss who I used to be. Will you help me remember her?”

Bismuth's smile was wider than Pearl had seen it since she had arrived at the Forge. “To me it was day before yesterday. I would be happy to help.”

Pearl threaded a lock of yellow hair that had fallen over Bismuth's shoulder between her fingers. “You know, I've kept up quite an armory in my room back at the Temple. Some of it's your old work. Some of it includes some interesting innovations you might like to see. We could head back, and when I'm done showing you that, I could also show you this cozy little reading nook I have.”

“That sounds fantastic.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the ship you all came here for. It feels like forever to me. When I first started writing this fic, it was pretty much going to be just this chapter, and there was a chance I would turn it into a series similar to Home, Not Homeworld. That was back in August. It went on the back burner, and other ideas grew until I thought I might have a coherent, multi-chapter story. I am really trying to get back into writing.  
> Remember, writers live for comments.


	4. Chapter 4

Bismuth decided the next day to bring Peridot's prospective ammunition to her rather than have Peridot come to the Temple, mostly because she was curious to see another modern Crystal Gem base. Steven was the first to offer to show her the way. Amethyst came long to see Peridot, because she could not miss a chance to see her girlfriend find new and interesting ways to attack targets. Amethyst was a little surprised when Pearl decided to join them, since Pearl kept her reason—being close to Bismuth awhile longer—to herself. Garnet also invited herself on the trip with that twitch of her visor that said Future Vision was involved but she wasn't going to share details until the right time.

At first neither Steven nor Amethyst thought much about the fact that Pearl was walking the last leg of the trip with one arm looped around Bismuth's. She often did the same thing with Garnet after all, and it didn't really mean anything. “Three's a crowd” still applied even when the third in question was your oldest friend. But then Amethyst caught sight of Garnet grinning. The last time she had seen that particular smile had been when Amethyst came back from the first night she had spent at the barn without Steven in tow.

She grinned at Pearl. “Oh, great! You are so much more fun when you're getting some on the regular.”

“Amethyst!” Pearl cried, blushing blue.

“What? Not in front of Steven? He's nearly fifteen. Greg's already talked to him about the human junk. I'm pretty sure he's figured out that there's things consenting Gems do in private.”

Steven responded to this by continuing to look straight ahead with his face somewhat pinker than usual. Watching Ruby and Sapphire make up after arguing had been all it took for him to connect those dots. He felt he could handle hearing it, but he was certainly not up for actually participating in this particular conversation.

Bismuth seemed to side with Amethyst on this one as she smiled wide. “And I clearly remember you and Rose being downright shameless, which I might point out left more Gems than just me hopelessly pining.”

“Pearl was a heart breaker?” Amethyst couldn't help herself. She had been through months of Pearl and Garnet smiling like parents on prom night every time she had mentioned Peridot. It was impossible to embarrass Garnet over romantic stuff, but Pearl was always fun to fluster. There was no way Amethyst was passing up such a clear opening.

“Not knowingly.” The blue on Pearl's cheeks was spreading.

“I could have told you,” Garnet said, which started to make Pearl feel positively ganged up on.

“Relax, P,” Amethyst said. “I'm happy for you. Did I or did I not support you through the whole Sheena thing?”

“I seem to recall you saying, 'Start smaller. Talk to a nerd.'”

“Okay, but outside of that moment of not wanting you to get hurt your first time out, you know I was behind you.”

Seeing Bismuth's confusion, Pearl explained, “Sheena is a human friend who was very kind as I worked a few things out.”

“She took Pearl's rebound edge off for ya,” Amethyst translated.

The Barn was coming into view, and the part of Bismuth's mind that had spent centuries building structures of what she thought was every description forced a question out of her mouth before she realized it. “Was the building that shape before Peridot got her hands on it?”

Pearl was only too happy for a different track of conversation. “The tower used to be a separate structure, and straight up-and-down. After one of Peridot's machines punched a hole in a wall, she decided to use the tower to patch it.”

“I'm sure it's structurally sound, but man. Peridots: great engineers, weird sense of aesthetics.”

A moment later they heard a barking noise, and a gourd with four legs and a face ran up to them and jumped into Amethyst's arms.

“Hey there Pumpkin! Did ya miss me?” The walking vegetable responded by nuzzling Amethyst's chest, humming contentedly.

Bismuth looked at Steven. “I'm guessing this one is your work?”

“Yep. First time I did it on purpose.”

“What happened when you did it on accident?”

“Let's just say that there's a village of watermelon people living on Mask Island now.”

Bismuth considered this for a moment. “You ever visit?”

“Not since the day I accidentally possessed one while I was asleep.” Her eyes went wide. “Yeah, some of my powers are different from Mom's. If she had that one, she never told anybody about it. I wonder if maybe she had it and didn't know it because she didn't sleep much. Dream walking is very weird.”

“I guess it would be.”

Peridot followed behind her pet. “Pumpkin makes for a pretty good watchdog; doesn't she? I was little surprised when Steven called and said you would all be coming.”

“It's been too long since we had a group visit,” Garnet said.

“Well, I'm always glad to see any of you.” She turned to Bismuth, “And you can meet Lapis!”

As Peridot led them the rest of the way to the Barn's entrance, Pearl noticed that Bismuth wasn't breathing. She didn't actually need to breathe unless she was speaking, but she normally made a habit of it.

“Lapis! The others are here!” Peridot called out.

Lapis walked out of the Barn. “Hel… You!” She stared, wide-eyed, at Bismuth for a second before taking flight and hiding herself on the balcony Peridot had made out of a truck. For the moment that she was midair, her back was turned to them and her gemstone in full view.

That seemed to be the confirmation Bismuth had been waiting for. With the breath she had been holding she also shouted. “You!”

Peridot looked between her roommate and her new friend with a wide, brittle smile. “So I take it you two know each other?”

Lapis poked her head out over the side of the truck bed. “Well it's not like she formally introduced herself before she left my gemstone lying on the battlefield!”

Bismuth stepped closer, leaving Pearl confused behind her. “Would you have let Selene leave if I had left you standing? Because she was pretty you wouldn't.”

“Wait. Selenite?” Pearl said before looking up. “You're _that_ Lapis Lazuli? _Celestine_ Lapis Lazuli?”

“That explains a lot,” said Garnet.

“To you maybe,” said Amethyst.

“Is someone actually going to explain something that happened during the war for once?” asked Steven, which caused the four veterans to look at each other, unsure of where to start.

Lapis spoke up. “It's my story. I tell it.”

Bismuth crossed her arms over her chest. “Just don't think I won't add in whatever you leave out after you're done. Selene did a lot of talking after she joined up.”

“Of course she did." Lapis' tone was bitter as she flew down and called up a screen of water for a visual aid. Even if the story was new to some, most of the images were familiar to all of them. Pumpkin squirmed out of Amethyst's arms and went to make comforting sounds by Lapis' feet. She didn't seem to notice as she started. "I was sent to Earth for a simple terraforming assignment. One of the spires was planned to be in the middle of a sea.” The Lunar Sea Spire swam into view. “I held the water back long enough for the sustaining devices to be put in place and went to report to Blue Diamond's court. That was the day my life as I knew it ended. It should have been the day the fledgling rebellion ended,” Sapphire lay prone with a diamond emblem on her chest and Pearl standing over her with two swords, “but the Sapphire didn't foresee a Ruby twisting fate.” Ruby jumped into view and after a moment of confusion, a figure that was Garnet replaced the two small Gems. “Fusion. And that fusion ran straight into the arms of the Crystal Gems.” The screen showed Garnet being welcomed by Rose and Pearl.

“The Diamonds couldn't let the rebels be the only ones with that card to play, so the Fusion Corps was started.” On the screen, Lapis stood alongside about a dozen other figures. “Those of us who had been at court for Garnet's first formation were considered the first choice for recruits. Mostly it was as a way to keep the knowledge of fusion on as much of a need-to-know basis as they could. No one asked for my opinion on the matter. My opinion didn't matter. Only the rebels would ever think to disobey their Diamonds.

"Everything we did was trial-and-error, mostly error in the beginning.” Most of the other figures faded away, leaving Lapis facing a Gem roughly a head taller and much more angular than herself. There was a square-cut gemstone on her chest set point down. “Selenite and I were the first to fuse, the first to hold it together, the first Gems still aligned with the Diamonds to put aside our proper purpose and become a war machine, Celestine.” Steven thought he recognized the lone figure a moment before he placed it, an illustration in Buddy Budwick's journal. She had been part of a mural in the Pyramid Temple, fighting Rose Quartz. “I would be lying if I said there wasn't any thrill to it. Celestine saw possibilities in my water powers that I never had, that no Lapis Lazuli ever had. The Sea Spire that had been my last terraforming assignment was even changed to the Lunar Sea Spire in our honor. It became a place for fusion to be studied, even celebrated.” The screen showed Gems walking among four-armed statues. “Still, all I really wanted was to stop fighting. I wasn't made for it.

"Another discovery we made was that the components of a mixed fusion don't actually share all of their thoughts and memories when they fuse.” Celestine split apart. “Fusion partners can still have secrets. Selenite's secret was that, even as we fought the Crystal Gems, she was thinking about joining their cause.” Selenite turned her back on Lapis to face a five-pointed star.

The scene changed to Celestine in the middle of a battle. “I didn't know what she had been planning until we were cornered in the middle of a battle by _her,_ ” Bismuth entered the frame, “and Selenite forced us to separate. 'You can come with us,' the Crystal Gem said. 'Just say yes.'” The smile on Bismuth's face looked cruel, and when sad by Lapis, the words where much less welcoming than they should have been. “I didn't say yes,” Lapis' mirror was alone on the screen, “and I woke up in the mirror to the face of an interrogator who wouldn't believe that I knew nothing about how or why Selene was now fighting on the side of the traitors. We were fusion partners. How could I not know? You know the rest." The screen went blank and shrank into nothing as Lapis returned the water to the pool.

After a moment of quiet Bismuth said, "She thought you try to talk her out of it, and if you failed, that you would report on her. That would mean she would never escape."

“Of course I would have talked her out of throwing her life away for this planet! Homeworld was going to win eventually, and we could go back to doing what we were meant to do. And where's Selenite now? Are her shards scattered in the dirt somewhere? Part of the Cluster or another one of the forced fusion experiments? Or is she running around this planet with… with claws or too many legs or something?”

The last time Bismuth had seen Selenite she had been whole and free. It was Pearl who answered. “Homeworld forces captured her about a hundred years before the war ended. They made a big propaganda piece out of it and built this elaborate temple powered by her gemstone. The whole place was one big trap daring us to try and get her out. We finally managed it a few years ago, on Steven's first serious mission in fact. She's bubbled now. It's as safe as we can make anyone.”

“What makes you so sure that she needs to be bubbled?”

“The dozens of gems that we released from artifacts over the course of the first few centuries after the war only to have them turn out to be corrupted. You avoiding the Corruption was a fluke. I'm sorry I didn't bubble you when I found you, but between the Corruption and the cracks, I never imagined that there was enough of a person left in there to care.”

Amethyst cut in, “Wait. One thing that's bugging me. 'Just say yes.' That's the same thing Jasper said when she asked you to fuse after we crashed y'all ship. Is that why you did it?”

“Jasper?” Bismuth asked. “The Homeworld escort you mentioned. She was trapped in a fusion. With her. For months. Is she still _sane_?”

Lapis looked away as she said, “No.”

Pearl elaborated, “We managed to find and split Malachite just as the Cluster was about to emerge. The internal pressure of the planet was causing terrible earthquakes. We lost Jasper down a fissure.”

Amethyst continued, “Whatever went down in Malachite's mind left Jasper with a major fusion obsession.”

“She found me. I knew what I had done to her was over the line. Malachite was nothing like Celestine. When she said that she wanted to go back to that, I panicked, took a load of ocean, and punched her over the horizon,” Lapis wrapped her arms around herself.

Steven said, “She started rounding up corrupted Gems. I think they were mostly other Jaspers. She said she was building an army so that she could defeat us. It probably didn't help that it was our fusions that kept us from losing our fights with her.”

“In our last fight, Smokey Quartz had her on the ropes.” Amethyst bumped Steven's shoulder to make it clear just who Smokey was. “She got desperate and fused with one of the corrupted Jaspers. It didn't hold, but Jasper, sort of, _caught_ Corruption from it. We didn't even know you could _do_ that. The way she was talking as it happened, I think she was pretty messed up in the head before. She was made on Earth during the war, and the way it all went down, she blamed Rose for everything she had gone through.”

“And she never really understood that I'm not Mom.”

“Being wrung through the wringer after coming back just made everything worse.” Amethyst turned on her heel to face Lapis. “And you did that to her because she happened to remind you of someone else? It was never about keeping Steven safe; was it? We were on the beach. The waves were at your feet. You could have poofed Jasper with a thought.”

“Why do you care? You hated her before that last fight.”

“Of course you don't understand. You weren't there at the end. You didn't have to watch her break out in Malachite-green blotches and horns! No one deserves that!”

“And you blame me? You're the one who wanted to beat her in that fight. Or you could blame her.” Lapis waved an arm in Garnet's direction. “After all, none of this would have happened if Her Clarity over there had just let her dime-a-dozen bodyguard take her punishment!”

At some point in the shouting, Pumpkin had made her way to Peridot, who now clutched her to her chest. “You don't mean that. You can't mean that.”

“For sure I can't! I can't look at any of you. I'm leaving.” Lapis took to the air at top speed.

“Lapis, wait!” Peridot called out.

Garnet put a hand on Peridot's shoulder and crouched down to her eye-level. “Let her go. She'll be back, and for the same reason she stayed in the first place. She has nowhere else to go. You've done well, Peridot. You've kept Lapis safe, even happy. If she ever changes her mind about the Crystal Gems, it will be in part because you were her friend when she needed one. It will be a few hours before Lapis is likely to return. Amethyst, you shouldn't be here when she comes back. Bismuth, it's best if you weren't either. I'll be staying.”

“Why?” asked Peridot.

“Because she wasn't completely wrong. I do have some responsibility for the Fusion Corps. There's a conversation I would have had with her much earlier if I had known who she was.”

“And what she said about Ruby?” Steven asked.

“There was a time when Ruby would have agreed with her.”

Her anger dissipated, Bismuth's expression turned a bit sheepish as she turned to Peridot and held out the bag she had been carrying. “So, um, I guess this would be a bad time for you to be testing projectiles, huh?”

Peridot shrugged, “There's not likely to be a better one any time soon. I need something other than Lapis to focus on until she gets back, and if we keep it to an hour or so there shouldn't be much chance of Lapis returning while you're still here.”

Garnet twitched her visor. “It should be fine.”

“I'll show you my practice range.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I'm trying to update this thing more than once a month. Life just keeps getting in the way. The good thing about setting this nebulously later in the timeline is that it's harder for it to turn canon divergent, though when I started writing this story months ago I was more fond of the War Reporter Lapis theory than the idea that she was a terraformer. It wasn't really a plot-important tweak though.  
> I can't make any promises on when I'll next manage to string roughly 2000 words together, but I promise I'll be working on it!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always swear I will be creatively productive in spring and summer, but I never am. Thank goodness it's fall. The next chapter should come much, much quicker.  
> With the new characters that have been introduced in the show since I posted my last chapter, I decided to change the names of my Fusions and edited the older chapters to reflect the changes. Amethyst and Peridot's Fusion, formerly Fluorite, is now Andradite, and Lapis and Selenite's Fusion, formerly Aquamarine, is now Celestine.

Peridot's practice range was around the back of the Barn. There were a handful of roughly-made bulls eye targets and a larger number of poles of varying heights and distances that she began to place empty cans on top of. At the same time, Bismuth began to lay out the contents of her bag.

“These are supposed to have some spin when flying,” she explained as she placed the shuriken and chakrams on the ground. “It wouldn't matter much if you want to control their flight all the way to the target, but if you want to launch and left them go, they'll still cut through the air better if you put that spin on them. The other options I have here are a bit less picky about how you handle them.”

Peridot snickered as she extended her powers to take control of the weapons Bismuth had brought her.

Bismuth grinned, “I swear you little ones are always the most vicious.”

“And here Lapis always says that it's because I've spent too much time around Quartzes. My longest assignment was in a Quartz Kindergarten. Maybe something did rub off, but I think you have something there. The Shorty Squad has more to prove.”

After a few minutes of watching Peridot make her first experimental throws, Pearl turned to Amethyst. “Why _do_ you care so much about this whole Jasper situation?”

“Something she said while I was losing that fight to her: 'You could have been me.' It's true. The only difference between me and Jasper is luck. And then she called me a joke.” Pearl looked to be about to say something but Amethyst cut her off. “Oh, don't act like me being a joke wasn't at least a little on purpose. Do you remember what y'all were like when y'all found me? Y'all needed a laugh bad, and that turned out to be the first thing I was actually good at. I was always going to be the smallest and least experienced person on this team, so I settled into being a joke. It wasn't until Steven came along that I realized things didn't have to stay that way.”

“And it was awful seeing her corrupt like that,” Steven added. “Even if she is scary, she was hurting.”

Peridot was paying enough attention to the conversation to join in. “It's easy for me to forget how intimidating Jasper can be to someone on the opposing side.”

“How can you forget that?” asked Amethyst.

Peridot shrugged as she launched a shuriken. “Jasper's only scary when she's your enemy, and she's never been mine. She was a guard at my last Kindergarten for centuries. Within the bounds of Homeworld's dislike of sentiment, she could be considered the closest thing to a friend that I had.”

“You said just being around her made you tired,” Steven said, confused.

“Being around allies does not make her any less fond of high drama. Being on a ship just the two of us plus Lapis, who was saying as little as possible, _was_ exhausting. The difference between her and a lot of other guards was that I could tell her she was being exhausting. Not every Quartz is perfectly safe for non-combatants to be around. Especially not fully-trained ones. It's amazing what they can get away with within regulations, even more if they can keep a straight face while they say you provoked them and the Agate doesn't like you very much in the first place.” A chakram glanced off of a soup can.

Steven was about to ask a question when Amethyst put a hand on his shoulder and shook her head. Now wasn't the time to ask Peridot to elaborate.

Peridot turned to Bismuth, floating a few throwing knives in front of her. “I think I like the feel of these best.”

“Good choice. The knives can be used for close quarters in a pinch better than the other options.”

“They also seem to do the most damage at a distance,” Peridot said as she examined fallen cans' new dents and holes. “Though these ball bearing things come close.”

“That's slingshot.”

Pearl snapped her fingers. “That's what it is! I've been trying to place them all day. It's been so long since I've seen slings on a battlefield that I couldn't think back any farther than muskets. Remind me to give you a primer on gunpowder later, Bismuth. We've never had much use for the stuff, but it never hurts to keep track of human arms development.”

“Keep the shot. There's not much I could change about how I make that, but I'm going to want to try a few different knife ideas. Do you still have that aluminum scrap? It could be useful.”

“I have a small mountain of it. Does aluminum hold an edge all that well? It's not something I've needed to know before.”

“That's something I need to test, but the lower density would let them fly farther and faster. The speed is where most of the punch will be coming from. I'm going to leave some of the shuriken and chakrams here too, just in case you want to give them another try.”

After they filled the empty space in her bag with crushed aluminum cans, Bismuth asked Garnet, “Are we still good on time?”

“Leaving soon would be best.”

As Amethyst pulled Peridot aside for a more private goodbye, Pearl took Bismuth's arm. “I assume that you'll want to head back to the Forge as soon as possible.”

“Not if this is you asking me to stick around for a while. On the other hand, Doll, you're more than welcome to come with me. You always have interesting input.”

“I actually want to start drawing up a list of warp pads that we might be able to move. Now that you're back to stay, the length of that hike to the Forge is going to get bothersome quickly. Still, perhaps we can walk to the Temple and you can use the warp there instead of the closer one?”

Steven chimed in, “It's a beautiful day for a walk. Amethyst and I can hang back so it feels more like alone time.”

Amethyst returned. “I can't promise we won't make fun of you two, but we'll keep it quiet enough that y'all won't hear it.”

“That all sounds like a good plan to me,” Bismuth said.

Steven turned to Garnet and Peridot. “I'll be back. I've got Buddy Budwick's journal at the Temple, and I think Lapis might want to see it. He recorded some stuff about the pyramid. There's a drawing of a mural with Celestine in it in there.”

“That could be very helpful. Thank you, Steven,” Garnet said.

* * *

The walk to the Temple was nicely uneventful until they reached the boardwalk where they heard a voice call out, “Ms. Pearl! There's something I need to discuss with you!”

Pearl and Bismuth stopped as they turned toward the voice, Steven and Amethyst soon catching up to them. “Oh, Mayor Dewey. Bismuth, this is Mayor William Dewey,” she said as the man in question walked up to them. “He's the democratically elected leader of the human settlement.”

“Nice to meet you,” Bismuth said.

“Likewise,” the mayor stuck out his hand. By Bismuth mirroring his actions, they navigated a handshake with a minimal level of awkwardness. Once that was done, he turned to Pearl. “Another new recruit?”

“Oh no, quite the opposite,” Pearl said as she tightened her arm around the smith's. “Bismuth was with us for a very long time, and we're thrilled to have her back.” She leaned against her. “Especially me. What was it you needed to discuss?”

His face turned red as his eyes repeatedly skipped from Pearl's face to Bismuth's to their entwined arms. He pushed up his sleeve to look at his bare wrist as he said, “On my, is it really that time? I'm afraid I must be going. We can return to the muscles, I mean, the matter later.” Bismuth blinked in confusion as he beat a hasty retreat.

Once he was out of sight, Pearl's theatrical cuddle turned into a slump. “Oh I hope that's the end of that. The man has been trying to flirt with me for the past decade. It's been incredibly tiresome, but it's too important to maintain good relations with him as the human authority of Beach City for me to be as blunt as I would like to be.”

Amethyst doubled over laughing. “Oh man, Pearl, that was brutal. You couldn't have let him down a little bit easier?”

“That would have meant letting him think there was any chance of me ever thinking about him romantically. Even if I did see the aesthetic appeal in human men the way Rose did, which I don't, I met his late wife, so I know what he would expect from a relationship. I swear the only difference between the typical politician's wife and a Pearl on Homeworld is that a wife is not expected to open doors for her husband.” She sighed. “The gender situation has improved so much in the past century, yet some people take such pride in being 'old-fashioned'. I'll never understand it.”

“After being part of that performance,” Bismuth said, “are you sure you don't want me to stay with you a little longer?”

“No, no,” Pearl said as they stepped onto the beach. “We both have work that needs to be done, and we'll get it done better if we aren't around distracting each other.”

With the romantic mood now actively in the process of being killed, Steven thought it was a good time to voice a question that had been on his mind for the whole walk. “What do you think would happen if I tried to heal Jasper?”

“I honestly don't know,” Pearl answered. “That really is more of a question for Garnet.”

“Where would we even keep her?” Amethyst asked. “We can't just kick Lapis out of the Barn, and I couldn't even start listing all the problems with her staying in the Temple.”

“There's the Forge,” Bismuth said. “It's safe and isolated, though it'll less isolated once we move the warp pad.”

“Corrupted Gems can't activate the warps. Not even if they're half-healed,” Steven said.

“Not sure if I would call a place filled with more kinds of sharp objects than I knew existed counts as 'safe' though,” Amethyst added.

“I would like to see someone try to fight me on my home turf with weapons I made for other people. Selenite needed to do a lot of talking after she split from Lapis Lazuli. This Jasper is probably going to need the same. I'm good at listening. I want to help.”

“Of course you do,” Pearl said fondly. “We still need to run it past Garnet before we do anything about it.”

“You're right, and it's best to let her have her talk with Lapis first.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am alive and finally dealing with the fact that this fic is now officially canon-divergent. Lapis straight up leaving and taking the barn with her in the show threw me a bit off-kilter for the storytelling and life stuff kept my mind a bit elsewhere, but "A Single Pale Rose" demanded a reaction, and this chapter as planned already had a perfect opening. Here's hoping this is the start of some momentum to have another chapter up soon.

Bismuth arrived at the Sky Arena the next day and found herself staring at the state of it. It was far from her favorite project she had ever worked on, but nothing drove home just how long she had been out of the world quite like seeing half of the place just _gone_. Some of the damage was deliberate, but much more was clearly just weathering, decay, and neglect. Still, about a third of the seating was intact along with enough of the fighting ring that Pearl and Steven had more than enough space for a vigorous-looking sparring session in which they were joined by a brown-skinned human who looked to be about Steven's age. Garnet was alone in the stands until Bismuth joined her.

“You found Pearl's note. You really do have her distracted. This is usually the highlight of her week, and she almost forgot.”

“Steven's friend Connie, right?” Bismuth noticed the familiar pink blade the girl was using. “I can't believe she's training with that. Pearl knows better. I made that thing for someone three times the girl's size. And is she relying completely on Steven for defense? That fits with Pearl's style, but it's not a good move for someone who can't regenerate.”

“Just watch.”

In a blare of pink light, the two children disappeared, replaced by one, much taller, person who was such a seamless blend of their appearances that there was only one explanation.

“Steven can fuse with humans. You must be so proud.”

Garnet's only answer was a wide smile.

“So where's the junior power couple?”

“Amethyst and Peridot are supposed to be starting the process of gathering up the bits of the broken warp pad we'll be moving, but it's equally likely that they're just enjoying the alone time somewhere in the general area. Steven could use a test of his healing skills and repairing it in place is unlikely to do us much good.”

“How did things go with Lapis Lazuli?”

“She didn't return to the barn before Steven fell asleep. I brought him home after that and haven't heard from Lapis.”

"Did Steven ask you about that Jasper?"

"Yes, and Peridot advocated for trying to heal her as well. My Future Vision is foggy on how it will go. Me being there for it certainly won't help matters, and it's always harder to predict things I won't have a hand in. I hate to say it, but I feel like something has been blocking me lately. Many things have happened that I haven't seen coming. I don't like it. Before her corruption, Jasper was nothing but antagonistic. Steven thinks he can win anybody over. He's almost completely right, but I don't like dealing with almost when it comes to his safety."

Stevonnie unfused and Steven and Connie went back to double-teaming Pearl.

"He looks like he can handle himself."

"You don't look at him and see him small the way the rest of us do, which might be a good thing. It's hard to treat the child we've raised like the adult he's becoming."

Down in the fighting ring, Pearl called an end to training for the day. Bismuth and Garnet came down from the stands to join them.

"You all looked great out there,” Bismuth called out as they drew closer.

Pearl put a hand on Connie's shoulder. “Connie is the best student I've ever had.”

“There's no higher praise in the galaxy. I hope you know that.”

Connie hugged the sheathed sword to her chest. “It's nice to hear a confirmation from someone else.”

“I'm impressed by how well you handle that big blade, but would you be offended if I made you a backup weapon more your size? It's a professional pride thing for me.”

Connie looked conflicted. The fact that she had been trusted with Rose Quartz's sword clearly meant a lot to her, but it would have been a lie to say there was no appeal in having a weapon that was wholly her own.

“You don't have to answer right now,” Pearl said, “and we'll have to clear it with your mother regardless.”

Connie's face cleared into a polite smile, “Thank you for the offer ma'am. I'll give it serious thought.”

That got a chuckle from Bismuth. She always found human honorifics strangely endearing.

* * *

As the group walked from the nearest functioning warp pad to the ruined one they would be moving, Bismuth tried to place exactly which desert they were in. It wasn't until they were near enough to the large mound of rubble raising up behind the smaller heap of warp pad pieces that Amethyst and Peridot were working at that she could make out the shape of the crystalline fragments and make a connection. “What happened to the Communications Hub?”

“Mostly Sugilite.” Pearl answered. “It was an intentional demolition. Human commutations technology has gotten to the point that the Hub was interfering with the signals. It's actually reached a pretty impressive state.” She removed a cell phone from her gemstone."This device can reach any other device of this nature, provided it has the right code, and access a world-wide information network. Of course, humans being humans, they mostly use it for rather trivial matters, but trivial matters can be quite key to human bonding."

"I just wish you would remember that text messaging exists," Amethyst said in a tone that implied that there was more than one story behind the statement.

"If you don't want to be interrupted, you could always turn yours off."

"But then I have to remember to turn it back on."

Pearl rolled her eyes as she returned her phone to her gemstone and they all joined in the task of transferring the bits of warp pad into a dumpster that Amethyst and Peridot swore that they had obtained legally.

The job was about three quarters of the way done before Steven broached a topic that had been working its way from the back of his mind since he had seen Bismuth and his mother's sword, currently safely stowed away at the beach house, in one place again at the arena. "Hey, Bismuth? Can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead and shoot, Rose Bud."

"You said that the sword you made for Mom couldn't shatter a Gem. Are you sure about that?"

"Of course I'm sure. That's what she asked for. I wouldn't have given it to her if I hadn't met her specifications."

"It's just... A lot of Gems saw her shatter Pink Diamond with it."

Bismuth turned to Garnet, behind her, Pearl looked distressed as her hand flew up to cover her mouth. "Pink Diamond was shattered, and I'm only finding out now?"

"Catching you up on over 5000 years takes time,” Garnet said. “It was about a decade after we lost you."

"Fair. Fair. The Forge obviously hadn't been touched while I was gone. Was there another smithy? Somewhere someone could have made a replica?"

There was a buzzing sound, causing Steven to reach into his pocket and pull out his phone. "Pearl, where's your phone?"

Pearl removed her hand from her mouth, "You saw what I did with it a moment ago."

"I just got a text from you. It says 'I want to tell you, but I can't.' You followed it with an emoji of a monkey doing that 'speak no evil' thing."

“Well that's just silly. Let me get mine back out and...” But the glow from her gemstone didn't resolve into her phone. Pearl stared at the remote control in her hand in confusion. “Odd.” She handed it to Connie. Another glow resulted in a violin. “No.” The next was a notepad. “Still no!” The one after was a screwdriver.

Steven's phone buzzed again. “Your phone sent another one.” He held it up so Pearl could see that the message was an image of a single hibiscus flower. Her eyes went wide.

“ Steven,” She said as she bent to make clear eye contact with him. “I need you to go inside my gem and find my phone.”

“What?! Is it stuck in there or something?”

“There are certain things I can't tell you, but I can tell you I need my phone. Please. I can bring you back out once you find what you're looking for.”

“Your phone?”

“Exactly. I'll keep your phone, text me with mine when you find it.”

Steven handed his phone over, and in a flash of white light, he was gone.

“Is it normal for people to go in there?” Connie asked.

“I don't recommend you try to follow him,” Peridot said. “I'm not sure if anything purely organic that went in could come out alive.” She paused as a thought occurred to her. “Pearl, would you be willing to help me with an experiment involving some potted plants?”

“Ask me again another time.”

Bismuth put a reassuring hand on her back. "Are you alright?"

"I may be soon. I just can't... Steven's a smart boy. It shouldn't take him much more than five minutes or so. Let's.... let's finish picking up these pieces."

They resumed work, Pearl doing her part with one hand while stealing glances to the phone in her other every few seconds. It buzzed just as the last fragment went into the dumpster. She took a steadying breath as her gemstone began to glow.

The glow resolved into a kneeling Steven with Pearl's phone in his hand and a downcast expression. “I know,” he said.

“I wanted to tell you for so long.” If relief could melancholy, that was the tone of Pearl's voice in that moment.

“Mom was Pink Diamond.”

“What!?!” come the collective cry from everyone else.

In shock, Garnet split into a concerned Ruby focused on an absolutely livid Sapphire, “Rose lied to us!”

“And was an idiot,” Peridot said so bluntly as to derail everyone else's emotional reactions. She looked at the collection of shocked expressions turned her way. “Oh good, nobody looks like they want to shatter me for insulting her this time. I get that you all have, like, emotional attachments to her memory, but I never met her. From that objective perspective, I've got to say that any plan that involves faking your death stinks worse than sulfur.” She caught sight of Pearl aggressively trying and failing to pull her hand away from her mouth. “What are you doing?”

“It's the last order Pink Diamond ever gave her,” Steven said, “to never speak of it again. Pearl, can I… reverse that? Give you a new order?”

Pearl's shoulders shrugged that she didn't know while her eyes begged him to try.

“By my authority as,” Steven looked like the words were crawling up from his throat and tasted bad while they were at it, “authority as Pink Diamond, you're secrets are your own, to share or keep as you see fit. All orders to command your silence are void.”

“I am so glad I got you to read so many fantasy novels,” Connie said, nervous to be intruding into an important scene. “Curse-breaking can be tricky, but I think you covered everything.”

Steven still looked queasy. “I never want to do that again. Did it work?”

Pearl slowly removed her hand from her mouth, her eyes locked on Steven's. “I was made over seven thousand years ago to serve Pink Diamond. I was designed to balance what the other Diamonds saw as her impulsive nature, but I had impulses of my own, to question the nature of my role and our respective positions within the hierarchy of Homeworld.” Her gaze flicked to Peridot for a moment with a ghost of a smile. “Forehead Gems simply never take 'because I said so' for an answer. I was lucky that my Diamond found this an interesting trait rather than something worth shattering me over.

“When she was given Earth as a colony, when she actually began to look around, she was enchanted by it. Novelty always did that for her. At first Rose Quartz was simply a disguise to get closer, to walk around without ceremony. The more she saw, the more she loved what was already here. As Rose she began the Rebellion to convince the other Diamonds that Earth wasn't worth it, but they simply became more committed to making sure the colony went ahead as planned. Rose came up with a more drastic measure to free herself, her Gems, and the planet. We staged her shattering in front of her court. I shape-shifted in Rose Quartz, stabbed Pink Diamond with a blade no one on Homeworld knew could do no permanent damage, and left behind some fake shards that she made beforehand. She thought the other Diamonds would abandon Earth if she was gone. They didn't, and we no longer had our old ways of discovering their plans. But she was always Rose from that day forward. Until the day she gave birth to you. You are everything she wanted to be, kind and selfless and free. Those were the ideals that I loved her for, even if...”

Peridot cut in with no embarrassment about intruding into the scene. “I still say the plan stinks. I mean, even Jasper kept going on about about what a great tactician Rose Quartz was, but I guess it's easy to look like a chessmaster when you're playing against yourself!”

“It's not like it was her first plan. She tried many delaying tactics...”

“Delaying tactics my foot. Yellow Diamond told me to go through with a plan to destroy Earth. I told her no. It was not that hard. I'm pretty sure a Diamond with an army of loyal soldiers behind her would have firmer ground to stand on than I did with no one behind me but the four,” she glanced at Ruby and Sapphire, “five, whatever, of you hiding behind the remains of my robot!”

Sapphire stepped forward to confront Pearl. “Do you have any idea how much information like this must have thrown off our projections! Neither Garnet nor I can see the probability of futures we can't imagine. Maybe we could have seen the Corruption coming. Maybe we could have shielded everyone. Maybe, maybe...”

Ruby came from behind to grab her hand, pulling her attention towards her. “Sapphire, I've got a better question for maybes. Where would the two of us be if the Rebellion had never brought us to Earth? Maybe I would have been moved to another assignment. Maybe I would still be your bodyguard. Maybe I would be standing next to you everyday, still panicking at the thought of what might happen if I touched you. We didn't do what we did for her. We did it for each other.”

Sapphire calmed a bit at the warm touch and the warm words of truth cutting through her cold fury. “I still need a little time with no one in my mind but me, if that's alright.”

“I'll be waiting when you're ready.”

Bismuth pulled Pearl into a hug. “You deserved better.”

“Rose was everything I wanted.”

“You still deserved better. You should have been trusted with a secret if it really needed to be a secret.” Bismuth wasn't convinced on that point, but now wasn't the time for the argument. “Putting a gag on you wasn't right.”

Amethyst spoke up, “So, um, are we gonna finish what we came here for, or did that take the wind out of us?”

“I feel lighter than I have in five thousand years,” Pearl said.

“Let's fix this thing where it'll do some good,” said Bismuth.

* * *

As they trekked to the working warp pad, Peridot floating the filled dumpster along with them, and then to a spot that was about a five-minute walk from the Forge's entrance, just far enough to allow for a warning if someone less-than-friendly came through, there was a tension in the air. Steven's healing powers were among his most temperamental and had been thrown off before by emotional upheaval. Those upheavals paled in comparison to the secrets Pearl had been forced to keep until that day. Even as Connie kept an arm around Seven's shoulders and tried to put his mind elsewhere, his thoughts kept returning to the biggest lie his mother had ever told.

Once they reached the spot, there was some dithering over how exact the reassembly had to be before the healing would work properly. In the end, it was decided that the first trial would be to simply dump the rubble into a pile, arrange it into roughly the right shape, and see if it worked. They would spend the time it would take to fit it together like a 3-D puzzle only if the first try failed.

While the Gems did that, Steven walked a few yards away, Connie following. They sat crossed-legged on the ground and together ran through a meditation exercise Garnet had taught them. When they came back, the fragile look on Steven's face had been replaced by one of determination.

When Steven slapped his spit-covered hand onto the pile of fragments, pink light flared and everyone except Sapphire let out breaths they had hardly realized they had been holding. The seer just smiled. Peridot inspected the results before declaring that it looked right. A quick test run that she took to the Temple and back bore that out.

* * *

Night had fallen and the kids were exhausted. The Gems were also emotionally wrung out enough that they were all more than happy to retreat two-by-two to be alone with the one person they each felt that they needed to be with most that night.

Pearl spent the dark hours curled in Bismuth's arms, telling stories about her life before the Crystal Gems were even a concept.

“I don't think Rose realized how much her order covered. I don't think it ever crossed her mind that I ever _would_ want to talk about any of it, but I wouldn't be who I am if it wasn't for those times, for better or worse. It meant hiding things that seemed silly to hide. With the Diamonds coming back, it went beyond silly into... I _know_ she didn't see that coming. It's really the little things I missed talking about sometimes though.”

While the Diamonds had trained Pink, their Pearls had trained her. She had given them fits, if carefully and gracefully restrained fits, over how many times she responded to an instruction with “But why?” She wondered how they thought of her now.

“Amethyst thinks _I'm_ rigid. I would love to see her and Yellow square off against each other. If I didn't hate the texture of food so much, I would get popcorn for the event.”

Bismuth let her babble and wondered if Pearl realized that every word made it more clear that she was more responsible for the Crystal Gems than Rose ever had been. If Pink Diamond had been given a different Pearl, one less inclined to question what she was told, Bismuth doubted Pink Diamond would have ever considered becoming Rose.


End file.
